I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
