how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
