ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
