VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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