Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
