Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
