...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
