this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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