he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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