really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
wow bdsm is so cute
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
