I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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