So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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