I am puke
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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