Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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