.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
