oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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