im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
