he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
