Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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