Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
