New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
