Sry I called you an 8
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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