dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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