shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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