I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
