it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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