she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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