Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
