its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
