i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
