I heard we made out
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just had sex bonerless
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
