In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
