I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
