Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
