i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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