wanna go halves on a baby?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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