Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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