Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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