glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
