haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
