Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
