people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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