well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize