whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
