tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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