You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
