Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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