we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
