she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
