i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
