I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
