there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
