thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
