Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
