I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
