We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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