I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize