Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
