sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
