I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I am spending my child support on dildos
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
