Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize