Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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