i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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