I'm really into asian looking animals
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
