I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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