I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
