return my video game
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
