Do you still have your period?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
