she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
