she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize