I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
