When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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