what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
